Hot Nerd Page 4

That must mean Luke’s receptionist wants to see him.

  He helps me up off the pile of books swiftly and I pull my dress down to cover myself. There’s no time to put my underwear on. By the time we’ve both made it safely back to our seats, my blood is rushing in my ears and my heart is beating at a million miles an hour. The soft knock on the door makes me jolt in fear, though of course I knew it was coming. I’m sweating, my hair’s a mess and I can feel the heat in my cheeks. When I look at Luke, he seemed to be as calm as ever, not in the slightest worried about what just happened. He fixes a smile on his face.

  “Yes?”

  His receptionist comes in with a pile of paper and a cup of coffee. I hold my breath when I spot my underwear in the middle of the floor. If the receptionist sees, we’re screwed. I can barely breathe. But Luke thanks the receptionist quickly and then he leaves without another word.

  As the door closes behind him, I gasp for air desperately. Luke’s eyes are full of mischief as he glances at me, seemingly amused by the whole thing instead of worried that we were almost caught.

  “You look a little flushed,” Luke comments. “Are you all right?”

  I stand up, tucking my hair behind my ears anxiously. “I need to go.”

  Luke frowns. “Despina...stay. Look, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not you,” I say hastily. “I just...I need some time to process what the hell just happened here. I mean...I...I never do things like that. I cant....I’m so…”

  “Despina.”

  “I’ll see you soon,” I tell him, grabbing my bag and heading out of the office before he can say anything more. I left in such a hurry that I didn’t even remember to pick up my underwear. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been offered the opportunity of a lifetime, and I’ve just spent a professional meeting getting hot and heavy with the man who’s in control of how my entire manuscript is shaped. How could I be so foolish?

  The receptionist watches me leave and I can’t help blushing. Can he tell something’s wrong? Can he tell what I’ve been up to? Does he know I arrived at the office wearing underwear and now I’m going commando?

  Of course he doesn’t. I’m being completely irrational and ridiculous. Nothing bad happened. And yet, I feel like I’ve let myself down somehow. I gave into my cravings so easily. I handed myself to Luke without even knowing him properly. I just couldn’t help myself. He draws me in toward him in a way no one ever has before. He makes me feel alive. He makes me want to keep coming back for more.

  But I can’t. I have to be sensible. I have to be good. I press the elevator button and retreat inside. Only then do I allow myself to breathe.

  What the hell happens now?

  CHAPTER 5

  Luke

  I’ve been pacing the floor of my apartment for the last hour. I’m restless and confused. After Despina rushed out, I thought maybe she’d calm down and get in contact with me, but I haven’t heard from her at all. The only evidence that she was ever in my office is the smell of her perfume lingering in the air and the underwear she left behind. I took them home with me, feeling like I was intruding somehow, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted a piece of her to remind me that what happened between us was real. Even if she ran away right afterward.

  I want to call her and reassure her that everything’s okay, but I don’t want to reach out if she doesn’t want to hear from me. It was stupid of me to initiate it, but animal instinct took over. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and when she was inches away, it was impossible not to reach out and take her. And she wanted it too. I know she did. If only my receptionist hadn’t come in, everything would be fine right now.

  We got carried away, but I couldn’t help myself. She looked so damn good and I just needed to kiss her, to taste her, to hold her in my arms. Hell, I didn’t even get to do what I wanted to do most, and maybe I won’t get the opportunity now. It feels like everything’s on the line.

  I’m so pissed at myself for being so careless. I wasn’t thinking straight when I walked around my desk to grab her. And now, she’s hiding from me.

  I know where she is. I could go over there and see her myself. It might be better than trying to talk over the phone, but it also might make things worse. Plus, if Liam finds out I’m heading over to her apartment uninvited, I might have to expect another visit from him at my apartment.

  This is a complete conundrum. Everything I do seems wrong. And yet, here I am, my cock hard in my pants, still thinking about a girl I can’t have. I’ve never been hung up on anybody before. Hell, I’ve never even felt the urge to have sex with anyone other than her. This has got to be real, or why else would I be so desperate for it to work out? She’s the solution to every problem in my life. She’s the cure for my loneliness. She’s the happily ever after that years of pouring over novels have promised me.

  I can’t give up now. I know that much at least. I grab my car keys and head out before I can decide it’s a bad idea. I know there’s a million ways this could go wrong. I know I’m risking a lot by going over there, but if I don’t, if I let her slip away quietly, I know I’ll always regret it for the rest of my life.

  I pull up outside her apartment and sit in my car. My body is already responding to the fact she’s nearby. It’s not just my member hardening. It’s not just my heart thudding hard against my chest. It’s the tension in my muscles and the aggressive pumping of my blood. It’s the heat on my skin and the sweat on my forehead. It’s the way my jaw clenches and a possessive growl forms in my throat. She’s done something to me that I can’t explain. She’s turned me from the quiet, bookish guy to a man possessed by the need for her. No other woman could do this to me. So at least I know I’m not making a mistake showing up here.

  I call her from my car and I watch as she peeps out of the window of her apartment. Maybe she sensed me here. She doesn’t pick up the call, but she disappears for a moment and then shows up at the front of the building in her pajamas. It makes me smile as I get out of the car and head toward her. I can see nerves in her sleepy eyes, but she also looks pleased that I’m here. It has to be a good sign.

  “Why don’t we go inside and talk?” she asks me as she opens the door for me. I nod, knowing that if I open my mouth right now I’ll tell her something inappropriate...like how much I want her. I follow her into her apartment, trying not to take in the yellowed walls and the smell of cigarette smoke in the corridor.

  Her apartment is cold and dark. I wonder how she stands to live here, and it occurs to me that she has no other option. She folds her arms over her chest, looking defensive as I look at her surroundings.

  “Wine?” she asks me. I don’t really want a drink. I don’t want to talk. I want to fuck our problems away. But I’m a rational person at the best of times. I know we need to discuss what happened at the office.

  “That sounds good.”

  She heads into the small kitchenette and grabs two glasses, pouring cheap red wine into them. I sit down on the sofa and she joins me shortly after. She sits close to me and I take it as a good sign. I rest my arm on the back of the sofa just to feel a little closer to her.

  “Cheers,” she says quietly as she clinks her glass against mine. I sip the liquid and try not to wince at the taste. I’m no snob, but it’s clearly bad wine. She looks at me with something like guilt in her eyes.

  “Sorry if it’s bad...moneys a little tight right now.”

  “Not for much longer,” I tell her gently. “That is...if you still want to continue after what happened.”

  She sighs, shaking her head. “I’m sorry about rushing out on you...and I’m sorry I didn’t call. I just panicked, I guess.” She shuffles a little closer to me and I feel my whole body tense up in anticipation. I want to kiss her, to put the past behind us, but it’s not the way to go right now.

  “I understand. I put you in a strange position but it’s all right. The ball’s in your court, honey. I like you...but I don’t want you to think I’m doing this because I’m in a posit
ion of power or anything like that. I’m not trying to take advantage of you.”

  Her eyes widened. “Of course not. I don’t think that.”

  “Good. And look...I know it’s complicated. I know we’re supposed to be working together...but I don’t think it has to come between us. We can be professional...I hate the idea of losing out on a good thing just because of our career choices.”

  Despina sighs and my heart thuds hard against my chest. I think I know what she’s going to say. She’s going to tell me that we can’t continue this. She thinks it’s too much of a risk. She looks into my eyes for a moment and then glances away, confirming my suspicions.

  “Look...I want this. I do. More than anything. But...my work has always come first for me. And I know it’ll look bad on the outside for both of us if we pursue this.”

  I nod. I get it. I do. But I can barely believe she’s giving up the connection we have over nothing. Nobody has to know about us...at least not until she’s ready. But I guess that’s the issue...how can we ever tell her brother about us when it’s so clear he disapproves?

  It’s like she’s reading my mind. “I had a visit from my brother…” she confesses. “He found out about our dinner date. He wasn’t happy...and then when I got back from our meeting today, he was here again, trying to convince me to change my plans from publishing with you. It complicates things even more if we add in a relationship...he doesn’t trust us. Probably with good reason.”

  I laugh and she smiles softly. I can tell this decision is hurting her. It’s hurting me just as much. I need her. I want her body and her soul. I want to make her mine forever. I want a future with her and to fill her up with my babies. But she’s not ready. I can see that right now. Maybe we need to wait for the right time...or maybe that’ll never come.

  “I’m sorry,” she says again. It feels like a final apology. It’s like a cue to leave. I’m torn between hurt and anger. I’m upset that she’s turned me away, and angry that her brother’s the reason for it. I put down my wine and decide to go before I say anything more and upset her.

  “It’s all right...if you change your mind…you know where to find me. I’ll call you about the edits.”

  I head out without saying goodbye. It’s too much for me right now. If I say goodbye, it’ll feel final. She doesn’t stop me, though I sense her drifting after me, watching me head down the corridor until I’ve entered the stairwell.

  When I get back to my car I sit there for a while, my lips stained by the cheap wine. I didn’t even get to kiss her one final time. And now, still aroused by the thought of her, I have to resign myself to the idea that I might never get what I want.

  Despina

  I wanted to call his name as he left my apartment. I wanted to run to him and throw myself into his arms and beg him to never leave me. But I kept my cool. I kept my pride. At the cost of walking away, I retained some dignity.

  I love him. I can feel it in my heart. It doesn’t matter that I’ve only known him a few days. I’ve never been so sure of anything, and I know this strange new feeling must be love. It’s the only emotion I’ve ever felt as strongly as this, and it’s hit me like a brick to the face. I want him so badly, and now I’ve turned him away.

  He could have anyone, and he chose to give me a chance. He chose to explore my body, to show me the type of caring that I’ve never had from anyone before. And now I’ll never know what it’s like to hold him close to me in the morning. I’ll never get to see him naked and feel him inside me as we make love. I’ll never get to know what could’ve been. And that thought alone is killing me.

  I’m so fucking angry now. Angry at Liam for putting doubt in my mind. Angry at myself for making a bad decision. Furious at my mentality that work must come first. Because now that he’s left me here alone, I’ve come to realize that perhaps having someone love me is more important.

  And the thing is, I can have both. He told me I could have both. He knows this chemistry between us isn’t going anywhere. He knows we could take this thing all the way. He knows that if we stick at it, our relationship at work and at home can be two separate things entirely. It’s clear to me already, having read the edits he sent me this afternoon, that we’re perfect for one another. He just gets me. No one else has seen me so clearly as he has before. Is it too late to change my mind? Or have I already messed up the best thing to ever happen to me?

  I scramble for my phone. I have to call him and get him to turn around. But when I look at the time, it’s nearing midnight. I know it’s far too late to call him. I should wait until tomorrow and send him a text when my head is in a better state of mind. But I want him now. I need him now.

  I can feel heat pooling between my legs. I’m wet just at the thought of him. I’m frozen in place, thinking about his strong arms wrapping around me. I picture him fucking me on the couch, our hot bodies pressed close together. I want his hands in my hair, on my face, between my legs pleasuring me. I think for a second it’s the wine talking, but I realize I’ve barely even sipped it. I sink onto the couch, my phone still in my hand as I fight off the dizziness I’m feeling. I wish for clarity, but the only thing that’s clear is how much I want Luke. I’d be a fool to let him go.

  I’m calling his number before I can stop myself. He picks up right away.

  “Despina,” he growls into the phone. I gasp. The way he says my name is so possessive, so sexy, that I can barely handle it. He takes my breath away.

  “Come back,” I tell him. “I need you here.”

  “Keep going,” he snarls, but I can already hear him grabbing his keys and bursting out of the of wherever he is.

  “I need you to touch me...I need you to fuck me...I need you forever. I want to be yours.”

  “You are mine, Despina,” he says in a husky voice. “You were mine from the moment I laid eyes on you. But if you want this...you need to go all in.”

  “I want to. I’m ready. I was stupid to send you away...don’t give up on me, Luke.”

  “Never,” he growls just as he hangs up. I’ve been holding my breath since the call started, and as I breathe out, I realize how much I’m shaking. I’m so unprepared for all of this. A few days ago, I never would have expected that I’d be inviting a man over to my place in the middle of the night, let alone for sex. But I need it. I need him. I can’t explain the new sensation in the core of my body. It feels almost painful, this need inside me. But I know the second he gets here, he’s going to satisfy every craving I’ve ever had. I know when I see him everything will be better.

  It feels like torture waiting for him. I panic a few times. Maybe he’s going to leave me high and dry, the way I did to him when I sent him away. Maybe he’s going to try and make me miss him a little before he comes. But when my phone buzzes next to me, I know he’s outside. I can sense his presence. I rush out of my apartment in just my pajamas, desperate to see him again.

  As he walks up to my front door, I run to him and leap into his arms, kissing him with an intensity I didn’t know I possessed. He doesn’t even stop for a moment, carrying me effortlessly back to my apartment. This is it. We’re about to have our moment.

  He shuts the door behind us.

  CHAPTER 6

  Luke

  Despina clinged to me hard as she kissed me, her legs wrapped tightly around my waist. There’s no way in hell she’d missed the raging erection pressed up against her. I think of the first time we were together, and I know that this is going to be even more incredible. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this, even though we’ve only known each other for a few days. I guess considering this is my first time I've technically been waiting forever, but I didn’t know how much I needed this until I saw her for the first time.

  I carry her through to the bedroom, growling against her lips. She’s got me impossibly hot. I never expected to have someone affect me this way, but now that she’s here, I’m never letting her go. I hold her tight for a moment before throwing her down on the bed. She gasp
s as I tower over her, pressing my body to hers and letting her feel my hard cock against her most sensitive area. This is it. Tonight I’m going to have her. Tonight I’m going to make her mine.

  I thread my fingers through hers and then pin her hands to the bed, kissing her neck and down toward her breasts. Through the thin cotton of her pajama top, I can see her erect nipples and I capture one in my mouth, biting and sucking it to keep it stood at attention. Despina moans loudly, knowing we won’t be caught by anyone this time around. I get the sense that she’s really going to let go.

  I kiss her stomach and then back up to her lips. I want to get her damned clothes off. I release her hands from mine and sit her up, tearing the pajama top from her body. Beneath, she has an incredible pair of breasts and I can’t help growling in satisfaction. She’s perfect in every single way. I grope her breasts as I kiss her, running a hand through her gorgeous auburn hair with my free hand.

  But I don’t have much patience right now. I need to have her. I begin to take off her pajama pants and as I discard them, she eagerly moves in to take off my belt. I help her by taking off my shirt, revealing my torso to her for the first time. I watch her eyes scan me hungrily and I grin to myself.

  “Wait and see what else I’ve got on offer for you,” I growl in her ear. Now that I’m down to nothing but my underwear, I can see that her curiosity is piqued. Her eyes scan over the large bulge in my boxers nervously and then she leans in toward me to get a closer look. I moan as she grasps my member through my boxer shorts and removes it. As my cock springs out from my underwear, she gasps.

  “You’re so big” she whispers. Then she opens her mouth willingly and slides me inside her for the first time, her wet tongue dancing over my cock as she starts to suck me off.

  I moan with pleasure, unable to stop myself. She’s too damn good. Just the sight of her doing this to me is enough to make me want to cum. She moans deeply as I sink further into her mouth, and I feel the reverberations from the back of her throat on my rock hard cock. I grip her hair to bring her in closer and watch her intently. Her breasts bounce up and down as she gets herself into the rhythm of it and I grasp one with my free hand, pinching her nipple to make her moan again. It feels so fucking good, but it can’t end here. I need this to last.