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  But I’m not crazy enough to tell her how crazy I am about her. I was taken aback when I first laid eyes on her, but now that I see she’s so much more than just a pretty face I’m completely gone. I’ve got to know more about her. To learn what makes her tick. And to have her as mine.

  “That’s why I came to you. To introduce myself.”

  “I don’t need any friends,” she says.

  “I didn’t come here to be your friend,” I say.

  There’s no point in lying as I can feel my member pressing so hard against my pants it’s about to rip the seams.

  “Then what’s wrong with you?”

  That’s a loaded question if there ever was one.

  If I have one flaw it’s being too honest. Part of me wants to explain that yeah, I might be a little off, but I know that’s not a good way to get anywhere with this beautiful creature.

  I’ve got one shot to make this work and I’m already blowing it.

  I stare into those baby blue eyes of hers and imagine how beautiful our babies would be, not to mention how feisty and so perfect.

  “What’s wrong with me? You’re the one taking swings at strangers.”

  “Stranger who stalked me from up on the hill and then show up standing right behind me like some creeper right out of a movie.”

  She saw me looking at her. She wasn’t even looking up at me. She didn’t give away what she knew. This girl is good. Is she military?

  “If you saw me then you know moving around the crowd was the fastest way, not trying to cut through them. I came in through the start of the crowd then saw it was too dense. I cut through the alley, along the back street, and then out this alley which put me right behind you.”

  “How long were you standing there?”

  “A few seconds tops.”

  “And you were waiting for the right moment to slit my throat?”

  “I was waiting for the right moment to tell you how beautiful you are but I was so in the moment I lost track of time.”

  “What a stupid line.”

  “It may sound stupid to you, but it’s the truth.”

  She pauses. Her bent knees slowly straighten, as does her back. Her white-knuckle fists lower to waist level, although she’s still got ‘em clenched. I like that she’s still being cautious. She knows not to take anything for granted in life, especially in unforgiving parts of the world like way up here.

  And I’m going to have to earn her trust, which I like even more.

  “Thank you,” she says.

  I nod.

  A good twenty seconds pass where neither one of us says anything. I can see the aggressive look in her eyes is softening. Her pupils aren’t so dilated anymore and she’s back to looking like the perfect feminine specimen. I don’t know much about make-up, but I know when someone does or doesn’t have it on. She’s not wearing a stitch and if I had my way she never would. She doesn’t need it.

  She’s completely perfect just the way she is.

  And if she did have any imperfections, which I’m sure I wouldn’t notice anyways, they’d just make her more perfect. Scars, unusual habits, idiosyncrasies…those are the sort of things that make people unique. They aren’t things you can buy to stand out, they’re just who you are which makes you more interesting than any flashy clothing or electronic device ever could.

  Not that she needs anything to stand out.

  She already caught my eye amongst this crowd from my vantage point up on the hill. She should have been just another tiny ant down here, but something about her caused my eyes to focus in on her. I had to know more. I had to pull out my binoculars for a closer look.

  And now here I am and everything I thought about her is heightened even more.

  I need to slow down. I want to do everything with her right away. I want to talk to her. To go on a walk with her. To smell her golden hair after I spend hours washing it in a beautiful bathtub fit for a princess. But one night with her and she’d be my queen. Forever.

  I’ve never felt like this before. Never. Ever.

  I’m in way over my head. This is unchartered territory and I’m not about to turn back.

  I want this girl. I’m not letting her get away.

  I’ll show her I’m a man who can treat her like no-one else can. I’ll respect her, support her emotionally, and teach her things that only a man like I can.

  But I can’t get ahead of myself and scare her away.

  Slow down, Jason.

  “You’re here for the parade?” she asks.

  Yes! She’s engaging.

  “I am. I come every year.”

  “I’ve never seen you before.”

  “I’ve never seen you before.” Calm down! This isn’t a verbal tug-of-war. “I mean I would have remembered.”

  I watch as those high cheekbones of hers redden as her long swan-like neck tilts to the side as she blushes.

  Damn is she ever gorgeous!

  “That’s awful nice of you to say,” she says with a smile.

  “It’s the truth.”

  “And I’m sure I would have noticed you if I would have seen you before,” she says.

  “You mean the bearded psycho recluse woodsman look isn’t as popular as it used to be?” I ask.

  She giggles. That playful shyness of hers makes me wonder why in the world I locked myself away up there all these years. Look at what I was missing out on. But I wasn’t missing out on life. I was missing out on her.

  “Not recently. But maybe it will make a comeback. You can start a hashtag and get it going.”

  “A hashtag?”

  “Yeah. Instagram. You know.”

  My eyes dart up and to the left trying to recall a memory. It’s an obvious body language tell, but I don’t care. She makes me feel comfortable. I know I can be myself around her.

  “That’s like email?”

  “Email?”

  “Yeah, like an instant telegram.”

  She laughs so hard she hiccups.

  “You’re funny,” she says.

  “That’s not what I was going for, but thanks.”

  “You really don’t know?”

  “No.”

  Her head turns just slightly as she surveys me more closely. It’s more of a close scrutiny to test my congruency. I guess I was funny without trying and now she’s trying to figure out just who and what I really am.

  I don’t mind the scrutiny. I expect it actually. I’m completely honest and have nothing to hide. I’m not going to volunteer my entire past right now like I’m interviewing for a job, but if she asks I’m certainly not going to shy away from it.

  “Sarge! Is that you?”

  Her head turns toward the entrance of the alley from which we came. At first I don’t take my eyes off hers, still captivated by those bright baby blues.

  I come out of my trance and I look in the same direction as her.

  “It is you! Well I’ll be. How’ve you been, brother?”

  “Hawkeye,” I say, extending a firm handshake.

  “And who’s your friend here?”

  “Ann Onymous,” she says. “Nice to meet you.”

  I’ve never met anyone more guarded than I am. I want to know her real name, but I’m not going to push it. I admire her cleverness and I know not to test boundaries in order to try and gather information. I know because of my own dislike of being asked personal questions.

  And what I’m most eager to know about her is what makes her tick. She’s natural and as crisp and clear as a winter morning. She’s more beautiful than a postcard and she’s flipped my world upside down just like one of those snow globe things, or whatever they’re called.

  She turns to see me staring at her once again. “What a perfect name,” I say.

  “Thank you,” she says.

  “I would have guest Nonya just by looking at you but I can see how Ann fits.”

  “Nonya?” she says, and I’m pretty sure she knows where I’m going with this but she lets me have my fun any
ways.

  “Maybe it’s the punch or the leg sweep attempt, but I would have went with Nonya Business. But Ann suits you better,” I say trying to keep a straight face.

  “Well don’t just stand there you two. Come have a drink. It’s on the house.”

  I’m completely focused on her right now. I don’t want to get sidetracked by someone I haven’t seen since my active duty days, not to mention I know he’ll want to catch up on old times and I just want to be alone with her. I don’t want to drink any alcohol. I want my senses to be as sharp as possible so I can take in her beauty, not be the slightest bit inebriated which will dull the sensations.

  But I don’t even know if that’s possible when it comes to her. It might even be a good idea to tone it down a bit. If I don’t take the edge off soon I’m going to be too intense and I’ll have her running for the hills…just not my hills.

  “Sounds like fun,” she says.

  I extend my arm as if to say “after you.”

  She takes two steps forward and I can’t help but look at that incredible backside of hers.

  Hawkeye puts his arm around me and squeezes my shoulder tight.

  “Good to see you!” he says.

  I’m still checking her out, but it registers that I don’t want Hawkeye to do the same thing.

  I look up at him so his eyes don’t drift in her direction.

  She’s mine now, whether she knows it or not. I’m not about to have other men thinking about her, and especially not lusting after her.

  It’s a miracle she’s not already married or here with a man.

  The world’s a crazy place and it’s proven once again that a girl this incredible doesn’t have a line of suitors down the block and around the corner.

  The world’s loss is my gain.

  My ultimate victory in life.

  Now it’s my chance to make her see things the same way, for herself.

  CHAPTER 4

  Winter

  Almost exactly an hour after walking into the bar we’re walking out.

  Sarge, at least that’s all I know him by right now, was really nice about paying attention to me even though he hadn’t seen his friend in such a long, long time.

  At times I got the feeling like he just wished it was only the two of us.

  Whenever Hawkeye started to reminisce Sarge brought the conversation back to the present to something I could also participate in. I really liked that he thought of me and included me in everything. Most guys would never do that. It’s like the minute someone mentions sports, or alcohol, or the best shortcuts to work or college they immediately jump all over those topics and forget I’m even around.

  Not that I’m around guys much anyways.

  I don’t have an Instagram worthy booty or the kind of curves that would break the Internet. Clothes barely fit me right to start with and I’m not good at picking things out for myself that would attract attention.

  It seems like it would be easy. Just pick red or bright colors and every boy would notice. Yeah…doesn’t really work when it comes to me.

  But that’s okay. I’d rather spend my time pursuing other things like reading a book or watching something educational on television or on YouTube. Life is short, as my father taught me. Even though I’m young I know there’s no time to waste.

  And today has been anything but a waste.

  Sarge has opened my eyes to new possibilities. I knew I was a bit of an old soul but I never really thought of being with a guy that was so much older. I always just thought one day I’d meet a guy about my same age who was more mature and then things would work out. The more time has passed the more I realize that just might not be realistic.

  Guys are just so full of testosterone when they’re young that it leads them to do so many foolish things and to act crazy. If it’s biological like I’m really starting to believe it is then there’s just no way a guy my age would ever be relationship material, or anything else for that matter.

  I couldn’t image a guy just using me for sex either. Although society tells me I’m missing out by not participating in the YOLO life, I know I’d rather wait and share my life with someone real. Someone who is who they say they are and does what they say they’ll do. Someone who cares for me just as much as I’ll care for them.

  I don’t want to have my heart broken. Not now and not ever.

  And that’s why I’ve waited. I’ve been saving myself for when I absolutely know the time is right.

  But it’s hard.

  What if the right guy for me doesn’t even exist? And what if he exists but he’s a completely different race, religion or something else and lives halfway around the world? We may never meet if the stars don’t align.

  But I’m not waiting on my horoscope or the zodiac to make things happen for me. I know that I have to take responsibility for myself.

  And it was very responsible that Sarge ordered an ice tea, not the Long Island version, and didn’t pressure me to drink alcohol either.

  “Did you have fun with your friend?” I ask as we step outside into the fresh mountain air.

  “It’s always nice to see people you’ve had a bond with from the past.”

  “I feel like there’s a but in there somewhere.”

  “But,” he pauses letting me feel good about my guess, “I’m more looking towards the future these days.”

  “Are you trying to put your past behind you?” If there’s something in his past that he’s hiding then I’m out of here before it gets dark. He already looks rough around the edges so I need to be careful. Granted his rough around the edges look definitely suits him and is growing on me.

  I can’t deny that the dual feeling of danger and excitement are turning me on. I’m not used to that at all. And being that he’s so big he could definitely protect me from just about any danger I could imagine and I’m sure he could provide a whole lot of excitement as well.

  “The past makes us who we are today, right? I’d never want to put that behind me. It’s rude and arrogant to not honor the people who made me who I am, but on the other hand I want to make sure my future is bright. It’s just occurred to me very recently that maybe shutting myself off in the mountains isn’t the best long term option.”

  “You live in these mountains?”

  “Yes.”

  “That sounds really great to me. Just time to be up there and to think and relax and live off the land. I mean, I’m sure it’s challenging but giving up all the hustle and bustle of the ordinary world would be nice…even if just once in awhile.”

  “I agree, and I don’t think I’d need to do a complete life changing one hundred and eighty degree turn, but maybe something that incorporated nature with more of a…social circle I guess the word would be.”

  “You could start with Hawkeye. He could be part of your social circle.”

  “I was thinking of a different kind of social circle.”

  “I don’t know what you mean. I thought there was really only one kind.”

  “This kind,” he says.

  He extends his arms in a big circle leaving just enough space for me to slide in for a hug.

  It’s forward and a little bit too early for that yet, but there’s something about the way he’s offering it. I can tell he’s not very polished when it comes to social interactions. He goes with his gut instincts whether appropriate or not. There’s something very disarming about it. Something so refreshing. Something…just right.

  I take a chance and slide into the opening of his hug.

  I wrap my arms around him getting a sense of just how big he actually is. He already looked so big but to try and get my arms around him makes his size even that much more real.

  I still can’t believe he’s only wearing that T-shirt out in this weather, but when my hands make contact with those big back muscles of his I feel the heat his body is emitting.

  “Wow, you’re really warm,” I say. “I wondered how you stayed warm in just that T-shirt.”

 
; “I run a bit hot,” he says, as he releases me from his grasp.

  I’m surprised he was willing to let me go so quickly and I miss his warmth, size and muscles already.

  “Do you have some sort of exercise routine up there?”

  “I just do what I need to to survive. Chopping wood. Climbing trees. Walking hills. Pushing this. Pulling that. I smoke a lot of meat for winter so I’m able to consume a lot of protein year round.”

  “I need to watch my diet. I’m iron deficient.”

  “I eat a lot of liver too.”

  “Yeah, that’s really good for iron.”

  “You’re welcome to try some sometime,” he says.

  “How far away do you live?” I can’t believe I’m asking him this. It might give him the wrong idea, although something tells me it might not be the wrong idea. What is it about this guy that fascinates me so much?

  “About two days.”

  “In two days you could drive five states from here!”

  “By foot.”

  “Wait. You walked here?”

  “Ever year.”

  “Why didn’t…don’t…sorry, it’s none of my business.”

  “It’s okay. It’s just that I like to walk. It’s soothing. That and if you really want to commit to living in the middle of nowhere you’ve got to be prepared to do what it takes to reach the middle of nowhere.”

  “But, where will you stay tonight? I mean, you’re going to start walking home tonight? It’s going to be dark soon.”

  “Normally I’d do that. Yes. This year I’d prefer not to.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I’d like to spend the evening with you.”

  CHAPTER 5

  Jason

  I slide my post office box key into the hole as I do once each and every year.

  The envelope is there just as it always is.

  I rush across the street to cash the check before the bank closes. That’s the one benefit of a U.S. Treasury check. No holds. They’ll cash it on the spot.

  But this year’s going to be different.

  Normally I just deposit the entire amount into the Fallen Soldier’s Fund. Today I’ll need to hold back a few hundred for myself. I’ll make it up next year when I bring some of the cash I’ve got left from up in the cabin.