My Christmas Carol: An Instalove Possessive Age Gap Romance (A Man Who Knows Who He Wants Book 220) Read online

  There must be literally thousands of kids with parents, grandparents, and some that look like they’ve been assigned mall duty as older brothers or sisters.

  If I thought the photographer was kidding, the first half an hour tells me she wasn’t.

  This is hell.

  ‘Where’s our free gift? We were told we’d get a ‘free’ gift?’

  ‘I’m not paying for a photo when that fat girl made my boy cry’

  ‘Whoever saw something so ridiculous!’

  ‘Can’t you get a real job, honey?’

  The Christmas spirit is nowhere to be seen, and even Bill… err- Santa growls at me every second kid.

  “Dammit girl, get it right! Tick their names off, introduce them, smile for the photo, and then give them their damned gift from the pile of crap here! What are you, simple or something?” he snarls, pulling my arm roughly when there’s a lull in the crowd.

  I feel hurt.

  Not physically, just hurt inside.

  Feeling like nobody cares about anything anymore. Like all this is nothing to do with Christmas.

  Which I hate anyway, by the way.

  Despite all this, there are actually worse jobs.

  Waitressing, bartending, or even cold-calling for anything will give you a thick skin, which I eventually discover.

  In no time at all, both Santa and whoever Ms. Photographer is and I are like old pals, quietly hamming it up for the endless line, which soon becomes a stream of happy customers once I find my mojo in their groove.

  Just when I think I’m about to faint from lack of food, the frozen smile on my face feels like its cracked capillaries… it’s done.

  I’m finished.

  “That’s the last one,” Santa announces, puffing his cheeks and tearing his beard off once the curtain is closed, our friend the photographer disappearing as quickly as she came.

  “I’m Bill,” he says briefly, holding out a shaking and weatherworn, ungloved hand.

  “Carol,” I tell him, still wearing my cracked smile.

  “I’m sorry if I was gruff, but…” he trails off.

  “You won’t say anything, will ya?” he asks, his gray eyes suddenly wide.

  “I’ve had worse,” I half-lie. I’ve had some crappy gigs, but this one after a full five hours is pushing it to the top. Almost.

  “Then I guess I’ll see ya tomorrow?” he drawls, taking off his hat and fidgeting with it as he stands uneasily.

  “Hopefully,” I chirp, glancing around, wondering where the magic check is, and if I can still cash it so late.

  “It’s just…” Bill continues. “I wonder if you could help. I mean… just a twenty?” he asks, looking so much like every kid that just sat on his knee.

  I remember what I was told, but another part of me kicks in.

  “Bill? I don’t have a dime, let alone a twenty to hand out to strangers right now,” I spit, surprising both of us with my attitude.

  But it’s true.

  Between the deposit for the costume and the no paycheck so far, I feel worse off financially than when I started.

  Bill sinks back onto his ‘throne’.

  “Amen to that,” he says dryly.

  Disappointed.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Lucian

  I’m late for my appointment, of course, I am.

  It’s blocks away and I spent way too much time taking in the perfect view, thinking about my own needs and wants before even thinking about my so-called responsibilities.

  The whole way there, all I can see in my mind whether my eyes are open or closed is her blond hair, her blue eyes, and that damned fine thick body of hers.

  I feel my head shaking in disbelief. She was there, right there in front of me and all I could do was hide and start to yank at my hard dick.

  That says everything.

  A girl like that?

  What are the chances?

  She must have someone, a boyfriend, and a husband.

  Maybe a dozen on the go?

  Christ, you’ve seen her! She can have any man eating out of the palm of her hand.

  The thought makes me growl, the driver asking if we need to stop. I dismiss him with a wave of my hand, wishing there was a privacy screen I could put up.

  But then I relax a little.

  I reason with myself.

  Why would such a girl get herself into the hopeless situation of being Mrs. Claus at a downtown Kellerman’s department store for a few dollars an hour?

  If she could have any man she wanted, why? He can’t be much of a man at all, not even being able to provide for his queen so readily.

  Hmmm?

  Sinking back into the soft seat of the car, I relax.

  Amused by my own deduction.

  But not entirely.

  Not even briefly.

  I may have spotted a fawn, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of the jungle is empty.

  I hear myself growling low again, thinking of her like that.

  Bending over, for me.

  Offering herself, to me.

  Sitting forward in my seat, I start to gnaw at my thumbnail.

  Feeling tense all over as much as I still am in my pants.

  Going over every frame of her in my mind’s eye until it’s hopeless.

  I’m just as fucked up and hard from the memory of her as I was standing a few feet from her.

  I must have her.

  “Mine,” I practically shout, making the driver swerve before asking if I’m sure I’m okay again.

  Pressing some cash into his hand, I assure him again I’m fine once we reach my building.

  With my hands in my pockets, desperately trying to cover my arousal, I make my way up the elevators to my scheduled appointment.

  “You’re late,” somebody says, seething with rage. I don’t even look up to see who.

  By the time I get into the meeting room, I’m more drawn to the view from the window.

  Wondering if I can see Kellerman’s from here.

  I can.

  I breathe in deep, inhaling her all over again in my mind, wondering just how I managed to let the most perfect girl in the world walk straight past me without even trying to stop her.

  I wonder too, if she’s still there, maybe looking out and looking up.

  Hoping I’m still looking for her.

  A guy can dream.

  “Lucian!” The same voice I heard just now barks. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Almost turning, I realize just how hard I am. Not a good look, so I choose to stand behind a tall leather backed chair.

  “I’m here for my appointment,” I reply matter of fact, a little put out I should feel I have to answer to anyone.

  I did set up my own meeting after all.

  “He left fifteen minutes ago. Had a flight to catch… The same one you said you’d be on with him to L.A? To go over the contract for the Californian wine sales?”

  I hear the questions, the tone of their voice.

  But I can only half-smile, still thinking about her. Whoever she is.

  “Are you even listening to me?” the voice asks again.

  No. I’m not.

  “Ah, sorry Mike. I know you came all this way. I just got held up is all, we can video conference and sign stuff by email, no big deal,” I remark casually.

  “But it is a big deal, Lucian. I won’t even tell you what he told me to tell you once he realized you’d stood him up,” Mike says with some venom in his voice.

  Mike Schilling is my lawyer, the main legal eagle for all things business.

  I’m not always dressed as Santa Claus.

  My regular day job involves more taking than giving, it would seem.

  “Sorry, Lucian. You just didn’t get the serving I did from the wine guy, and I shouldn’t try and do the same to you. Are you alright though? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he adds, scrutinizing me in his best cross-examiner’s face.

  Even though he’s a business lawyer, Mike
always wanted to be a hardball prosecuting attorney, I can tell.

  I slump down into the chair next to me, shaking my head.

  “I think I’m in love,” is all I can manage.

  Mike’s quiet for a bit, then he comes over, pretending to take my pulse and placing a hand on my head to check my temperature as he huffs to himself.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were drunk, Lucian. But I know for a fact you’re a teetotal, so what gives? And don’t give me love stories. That wine deal was worth a pretty penny,” he cautions me, finally putting his hands on his hips and waiting for an answer.

  “Mrs. Claus,” I hear myself murmur, feeling the room drift away from me as I remember her again.

  Moments pass until I finally jolt to my senses.

  “So,” I announce. “I’ll leave the wine deal in your capable legal hands, Mike. I have another appointment,” I tell him, shaking his hand before walking with one stiff leg from the room.

  “Mrs. Claus,” I hear him parrot me as I leave.

  “I hope she’s worth it Luc! Just cost you a pretty penny!”

  But I couldn’t care less.

  The only thing I’m worried about is making it back to her before she leaves the building.

  Kellerman’s.

  Oldest and biggest department store chain in the state.

  I make a face when I think about that, picturing her instead.

  Needing a name to put to that pretty face.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Carol

  After fidgeting on the spot, I decide to try and retrace my steps back through the door I came in, hoping to find a bathroom for one.

  But I bump into Carla, both of us squeaking in shock for a moment. She’s holding a folder with some papers. Yellow company checks paper clipped to each.

  “I hear you did okay, Carol. Here’s your check, cashier’s open ‘til nine… I hope we can count on you for tomorrow?” she asks, narrowing her eyes and puckering her mouth.

  I glance at the check amount, barely enough to feed me let alone pay my rent after the costume ‘deposit’.

  But what choice do I have?

  “This blows, you know that?” I tell her, not caring what happens anymore. Standing like a schmuck for five hours for twenty-five bucks. I’m sure there are laws against this sort of thing.

  “We’ll see you tomorrow then,” Clara chimes knowingly, clopping over to Bill to give him the same treatment, I imagine.

  I can’t get out of there soon enough, but a deep voice from behind me, coupled with a very familiar scent sees me stop dead in my tracks.

  Check cashing can wait.

  The bathroom can wait.

  I know that smell, and I know the feeling it creates more than anything else too.

  Before I even turn around, I feel those eyes on me again.

  Those same eyes.

  It’s him, I know it is. I don’t know how, but I just freaking know it.

  The sudden wet line in my panties should be enough, but there’s something in his voice, his cologne.

  And then he lets out a muted laugh, talking quietly with old Bill.

  It’s him, I just know it is.

  A part of me wants to spin rather than turn. To run into his arms and just have him scoop me up.

  But I have no idea what he looks like, so I restrain myself as much as I can.

  Once his huge hazel eyes hit mine though, I feel weak in the knees.

  I know it’s him, and his look of recognition is enough for me to know it’s the same man, the same eyes I felt in the changing room.

  And my God, what a man.

  He must be six seven, built like a linebacker, the V-shaped wedge of his torso bristling through a very expensive looking suit.

  His smoldering eyes dance as he smiles, revealing a perfect set of gleaming teeth set in a chiseled, David-esque jaw that’s as smooth shaven as he is sharp.

  His thick dark hair has a sheen of silver at the sides, but only in a certain light.

  His strong features soften though once he focuses on me, and I know his smile is meant for me.

  My eyes move down in embarrassment, but freeze once they spy the thick line he’s sporting in those pants.

  Must be the light.

  He casually moves his huge hands to cover his front and pretending to lean in closer, listening to Bill, I’m sure he gives me the subtlest wink as he squeezes his front.

  I feel my heart in my throat, the room start to sway, and suddenly I can’t feel my legs.

  My mouth’s suddenly dry and once I hear Clara ask me something, I can only croak.

  More like a moan.

  Moaning for the other end of me that’s suddenly sprung a leak.

  “Ah, Lucian’s here. I may as well introduce you,” she says absently, clasping my arm and gravitating me towards him.

  Making me feel like a small moon about to be eclipsed by the Sun God himself.

  The God of all men.

  It feels like she’s half-carrying me over, but the thick line of wet in my panties is what’s really pulling me closer, I know it.

  Aching to get a better view of what the man has in the front of his suit trousers.

  But his cover is good, and his presence as I get closer, undeniable.

  He’s murmuring something to Bill about him filling in when he looks up at me again, suddenly making me feel small and very, very nervous.

  “Lucian, this is Carol. Filled in at short notice too. Look, can I-” she adds suddenly, her whole body turning away from us.

  Lucian.

  What an extraordinary name. Fitting for an extraordinary man.

  He waves her away, and Bill too by the looks, zooming in on me with those dark eyes and a deep inhalation that makes me feel he’s actually eating me alive.

  My God, I feel like I’m about to-

  “Come!” he announces suddenly, taking my arm in his and leading me away, ignoring the others as we make our way out into the shopping mall, which is half as busy as it has seemed all day.

  “Let’s get you out of here, you must be sick of this place.”

  He pulls me close to him as we walk, and I can feel his body through his clothes.

  Rock hard but with enough give to make me shiver at the thought of touching his naked flesh, tracing my fingers around each muscle I know is flexing underneath without him even trying.

  “Bill tells me you did a great job,” he says, deliberately looking away but letting his huge hand grip mine as we walk.

  “Are you the… manager?” I hear myself squeak, feeling like I’m nine, not twenty-two.

  He chuckles softly, stopping long enough to look down as he breathes in deep again.

  “You, uh could say that,” he says, smiling swiftly before resuming our little walk.

  I feel my nerves flare, but I can’t help notice despite his swagger, he seems a little flighty himself.

  Maybe we both need to eat something.

  But hang on. What’s the manager suddenly doing walking around with me on his arm?

  This guy could have any girl he wants.

  Maybe it’s to make up for the crap all paycheck I’m probably gonna miss cashing.

  I groan before apologizing, telling him I was just about to cash my check.

  And use the ladies’ room.

  But he waves his hand again as if none of that matters.

  After a few more yards, I spy the ladies room sign, triggering a different urge in me.

  “Can I at least go to the bathroom?” I ask, not meaning to sound ungrateful, but also wondering if that’s the ‘I’m about to burst’ feeling explained in one second.

  Instantly, his demand changes and he makes a beeline for the ‘ladies rooms’ corridor.

  “Forgive me, I should’ve…” he stammers, blushing hard as he scans the corridor, then behind us as he walks me all the way to the door.

  “I can take it from here,” I assure him, glancing at him sideways.

  “I’ll b
e right here,” he says firmly, letting out a familiar low sound as I slip through the door.

  The ladies’ room is empty, but once I’m in the stall, I can see the door in the mirror, through the gap.

  It’s Lucian. Poking his head around, scanning the place until he’s satisfied I’m alone.

  Weird.

  But I kinda feel turned on again once I do what I came for.

  Like he’s protecting me or something.

  Looking out for me.

  Nobody’s ever done that.

  CHAPTER SIX

  .

  Lucian

  Carol.

  A name for this feeling at least, for now. It’ll have to do.

  Dismissing everyone else once I have her insight, I grab hold of her, not even knowing where I’m going or what I’m doing. Only knowing I have to keep her close.

  Nobody else can have her now, she’s mine.

  All mine.

  She mentions cashing her check and needing the ladies.

  Is this the big brush off?

  Waiting for her outside the ladies’ room, I can’t help but peek in, making sure no one else is lurking about. The thought of anyone getting between me and her right now is just too much. My nerves feel frayed as it is.

  The meeting I missed when I should’ve just gone to her, now she’s acting like she doesn’t even want to know me.

  Manager indeed.

  “All done,” she chimes, looking fresher and a thousand times more beautiful by the second as she comes out the door, pretending not to notice me having spied on her.

  I try a different tack, one that might not sound so creepy or desperate.

  “So. Nobody picking you up, boyfriend… husband?” I ask, not sure what to think when she snorts a loud laugh.

  “Ah, no. Just me. All alone in this world,” she says, making me feel relief but also a stab of hurt.

  I don’t see it as a laughing matter, someone like her needs looking after.

  Protection from the world.

  “And you?” she ventures, a coy smile on her lips as she studies my expression sidelong.

  “Uh, no, same,” I tell her, creasing a smile, which blooms once I feel her arm back in mine.

  “So you’re not really a manager and you’ve got nobody either…” she muses, humming to herself as I let my body lean a little more into hers.